3 Years 6 Months

28 Feb 2006, 1417Hrs.. Good afternoon !! Today signifies 3 1/2 years since the day I held your hands and tasted your lipsticks for the very first time. Yes, you may not remember but today is 'supposedly' our 3 yrs 6 mnths anniversary.

Perhaps its no longer of significance to you, romance is probably not for you at the moment, relationship may not be your piriority now. But I want you to know that Loving You was never a regret to me. In every relationship, theres only 2 path that leads to "结局". One is the successful path, the other disaster.

As I have once said, 'Regret' is not in my books. If it all turns out well, then thankfully you were meant for each other. Disaster means that fate was too cruel to you, in another term, all the effort and spirit put into the relationship
has gone down the drain.

"Music"!! It is such a wonderful thing isn't it. Music is food for the soul. It can mean different things to various people. Some listen to music for the sake of the tune, others for the lyrics. It can be a consolation for the broken hearted, it can lead to violence, hurt and hatred. It can lead to forgiveness and most importantly, brings back memories, good or bad. Generally depends on the nature of the person and the type 'genre' of the kind of music.

Playing old tunes is a good way of bringing back old memories and the striking familiar tune you were once used to. Though certain kind make you more depressed, others make you look back at the times you once wished and hope you can return to. New music can bring about a refreshing feeling, a wanting to learn how to hymn initially and ultimately learn how to sing.

Music is the one and probably the most common interest which we share. Did it not start off with a song ? After that it lead to CD-Burning, downloading of MP3s then KTVs. Do you still remember ?? Or would you rather forget it ??

I sincerely wish you a 'nice,happy' 3 1/2 years anniversary. Thank you for all that you've done...Whether there will be more rings on my fingers remains to be known, I let fate decide on that.

As for now, all I want to be is with my family. My relationship with my Mother and Brother has since tremendously improved, thank God.

- Geoffrey signing off in peace, love, and thankfullness @ 1514Hrs

Tribute to my loved ones...

God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost - I thank you for sending Jesus to die on the Cross to atone for our sins. Thank you for your holy spirit that continually speak to me thru my heart and your protection, love and comfort upon me.

Roy - I've known you for how many years ? 13+ yrs at least.. And I feel that you understand me the most. Thank you for your continued advised on what I should do in my relationship and your understanding. We've gone thru lots together and I hope our frienship/brotherhood will last forever.

Edwin - Bro, you are one of the best mate I've ever met in my life. Not only are u concerned about me, but you truly care for my safety. This is something I really appreciate. Thank you for holding me back during my violent nature, thank you for talking sense into me. You are a very smart person, someone who has a quick mind and can think fast. Don't let it go to waste. I love you bro. You are one person I will never regret meeting in my life.

Greg - Greg, I'm speechless... You are more than a friend to me, more like a real life brother to me. A classic example of how real life brothers should treat each other. The things which you've done for me in the past, I truly appreciate. I /bow to you and respect you for the person you are... You alone have the greatest character on earth which words cannot even explain. May God bless you in your education..

Ian - Thank you for being there when I needed someone to talk to.. Thank you for talking sense into me when I was feeling down. Though we have only been so close recently I truly treasure our friendship/brotherhood. Thank you for sending me up the bus today, I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I pray to God that he may bring you back to his kingdom.

Tim - Bro, you are one of my greatest pal in the world. Though you may act rash at certain times, you are always sober when you talk sense into me. I believe it is the Holy Ghost who is in you speaking thru you to me.. Thank you for holding me back when I was rash and drunk, today's your last nite out with us and I will miss you greatly.. Your passion for fun, excitement and crazyness... I hope to see you back in 9 mnths time.. <3 and peace to you bro..

Thomas - You are a grown up adult, you know whats right and wrong for yourself... Though you may do rash things at times, but as a brother I hope that you can consider your future and the consequences of the actions you've done..Pls think over when you do things, whether it is worth it or not ? I pray to God that he will give you the willpower to overcome all temptations..I enjoy your company very much, a fun loving and crazy guy to hang out with..May God's grace be with you..

Finally my most beloved Ling - How's your new job ? How's your colleagues treating you ? Have you found any new happiness ? You should be happy you have found a Job that can finally fullfill your wish of travelling around the world. I still Love you, I still miss you alot. Unfortunately, you have no time for me.. Please let me know if you have fallen for someone else, so that I can at least surrender. At least I have the right to know ? Don't I ? <3

You will always hold a special place in my heart no matter what..

-Geoffrey signing off at 1.42am

写不出结局??

暧昧让人受尽委屈, 找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进, 何时该放弃 ? 连拥抱都没有勇气 !!
只能陪你到这里, 毕竟有些事不可以,
超过了友情, 还不到爱情, 远方就要下雨的风景.
到底该不该哭泣!?!? 想太多是我还是你??
我很不服气, 也开始怀疑眼, 前的人,
是不是同一个真实的你 ????????????
暧昧让人变得贪心!! 直到等待失去意义,
无奈我和你, 写不出结局??
放遗憾的美丽停在这里...

不爱我,放了我

7.44 pm . Good evening !! Everyone must be really confused of my sleeping pattern lol. Just got out of bed and guessed what I dreamt about of all things ? Liverpool overcoming and celebrating their victory over Benfica in the Champions League. Whether it is true or not we will soon know, however, it is of irrelevance, bleh whatever... A blog is supposed to be a blog rite ? Whether it makes sense or you just uttering rubbish.

Anyway head is aching badly, cough, sneezing and flu for almost a week and for the first time in 3 1/2 years I do not have somebody beside to take care of me. To say I'm lonely is probably an under-statement.

Why do you ask about the Blog when you say its "old stuff" and "I dont need these stuff". Well, I could have easily blown this compilation into pieces with a press of the button, but I did not. In contradictary to that, I've even bothered to upload a photo and link it to the pic that has already dissapeared. Don't read it if you don't want to, however , since it was a pact between you and me to start the blog I swear I will continue to maintain.

Was suprised you sms me last night, to be honest I did not wanna reply cause I was really tired and already on my passage to dreamland.. "How're you ?" one blurly look at my HP tells me how much you've changed. I rarely get few word smses. Not to mention 1 in 4-5 days.

Are you really concerned about me ? Do you really want to know what are my plans for the future ? Do you really think I'm slacking in my own world while you are working your ass off ? Do you think I am not doing enough to prove that I can provide your needs in future so you don't want marriage ? Do you feel that you've always felt insecure with me.

Are these thoughts running through your mind ? I may not understand you as much as you understand me but you've know me for 1272 days as of today. If you challenge me to anything, I will more than take up your offer. My immediate plans I know for myself presently, and the Father has set for me in future. I do not have obligations to reveal to anyone except that I don't intend to "slack in my own world" if you think I'm gonna slip and fall half-way I'm sorry you have under-estimated me.

Havent you told my mum once that I have a stubborn nature and whatever I wanted I will go all out to get it ? Getting your Love back is one thing I shall not go all out to get, its not worth it. I'm sorry, already too tired trying to do that.

Stubborn nature has 2 kinds, the good and bad. Bad = stubborn in not willing to listen and change for the better. Good = The kinda character which makes you stubborn to achieve what goals you set in life, in another sense the term called 'determination'. I believe that I possess both qualities, however as to what weightage I'm not sure.

I did not even have my daily nicotine dosage today, no mood to go out, don't understand why I'm blogging so much recently either, with loud music blasting in my room. Certain things just cannot be explained, like how you changed. When it happens it happens and theres nothing anybody can do about it. Not even yourself. Unfotunately...

Tomorrow will be the first day I return to camp in one week, happy or sad ? Well, there was renovation going on and to be honest I'm no longer involved in whatever is happening in the Orderly Room in Selarang Camp. Understudy has taken over. But it's a Friday tmr so a one day thing I guess.

Day after tomorrow Timothy will be returning to Australia to finish his last phase of education. Oh how un-willing of him, just do your best, you have 9 mnths while mine will take 2 years. Gregory has also joined the kangaroo gang. How's life over there Greg ? I know you are bored, received your call yesterday and am glad that you have more or less settled into your new place. Thank you for your friendship all these years (10+), you're a friend who is a REAL friend, sometimes more than a friend, a classic example of what real brothers should treat each other. Your new girl-friend must be a real lucky girl to get some1 like Greg, I hope God bless both of you blissfully.

I will miss the entire crazy gang. Timothy & Greg in australia, Roy, Ian, Thomas, Edwin and let's not forget Andrew. Still remember the Initial D days in my car ? The drunkardness @ Fareast stone-table ? The madness at devils bar, MU ? Soccer every Sunday ? Virtual Striker 4 at Bishan ?

Some of you may have already settled down with your love ones, as for others, I pray that you will sooner rather than later find your life partner :)

-Geoffrey signing off at 9.03 pm

==__R e G r e T __==

Its 11.10am and Im waiting for my patching to finish. So i guess I should jus blog a lil.
In every relationship breakups theres no one side fault in the party, its always 2 person's fault. 'takes 2 hands to clap'

Situations like these is not the time to feel sorrow, rather, every ordeal we go thru has a meaning and reason to it, and the result is to learn from the mistake we make in the past and ensure that we do not repeat the mistake.

"Regret" is not a 'word' in my dictionary. "Regretting" does exist. Why do I say so ? At point of times when we make mistake that ends us in trouble, we start to be "Regretting" that very mistake we made. However after everything has be settled and done with, we no longer "Regret" because there's simply no point in "Regret". Things done has already been done, "Regret" cannot reverse time to change the situation. We can only pray to the Good Lord our God for forgiveness and immediately you hear the holy spirit speaking in your heart that you're forgived even b4 u speak. God knows what you want to say to him before you even start to utter a sentence of prayer to him.

Morale of the story : Trust God and put your future in his hands, let him decide whats best for you. And if what's not good for you, a painful lesson has to be learnt, and i learnt it the hard way. If there wasnt any lesson dished out to me, I would have been an Anti-Christ by now.

-Geoffrey signing off

Is your heart still with me ??

7.16am and i'm blogging.. I'm starting to grow used to having less sleep.. Can I help it ? No, my heart is shattered into billion pieces..

You started this Blog and yet you say its old. Do you even appreciate the things you created, less the love you have for me ? Do you learn to Love yourself, or is money more important to you ? The latter is more obvious

"Money is everything, money is the most important" -Quote

How is that so ? Money is the root of all evil. Yes money is important, but it is not everything. Can money buy health, can money cure Cancer in its advanced stages, can it buy back vitality for a person infected with HIV, can it revive a person who is destined to die ? Can wealth buy you back a broken family, a Sister who passed away ? Will it be able to buy you freedom when you get into trouble with the law, can you escape your punishment with cash ? Can it buy you back a love one you so loved ?

There is no "I think so" in a 'Do you still love me question'. It is either a straight YES or NO. And theres no hesitation in response, it comes direct from the heart.

I Rest my Case

Lord wipe the tears away from my eyes as my keyboard is stained with little droplets. Be with me at all times to protect me, strengthen me. I also pray You bless her with good health and a successful career.

-Geoffrey signing off

开始怀疑眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你?

Slept at 6am, woke up at 10am, cant sleep, refuse to force myself back to bed. Don't feel tired too, idk why.. It's supposed to be my clearing leave period but it seems that instead of repleninshing the lack of sleep during my NS days I've been sleeping less than before.

Havent blog in mnths, years ? Doesnt matter does it ? I always speak from the heart. 2005 was a year to forget, has already been erased from my memory, however I cannot guarantee that it will come back to haunt me in my dreams !?
Well, has already been 52 days into 2006 and does it look better than 2005 ? Maybe yes, maybe no.. Too early to tell, so far so good though. It's my year !! The Year of the Dog. /huggles all dogs...

Enroled into SIM (UOL)'s direct Honours course in BA last week. Will be starting sch straight after I ORD (Apr), timing just right, how nice. About to start another new chapter, another new page in my incredibly thick invisible auto-biography.

"Hold my hand, I've always been here with you, I've never left you, no matter where you are, no matter what situation you're in" God speaks.

I thank the Good Lord my God for his mercy on me and continue to pray for salvation for the unsaved, and for his continue grace and mercy on me. For on that day, every knee shall bow and every tonque confess, that he is Christ.

My Dear Ling, how have you been ? How do you like your new job ? How are your new colleagues treating you ? How's the working environment ? How's the weather in your heart ? Is it cold as Ice ? Or is it burning with fury ?

Do you like the Valentine's Day present I gave you ? It may not cost much, but I put all my heart in compiling it. You have not sms,call,talk to me for days-week.. Perhaps you are busy with your training/work, maybe you are tired. I want to hold you in my arms and comfort you, but all I find is that I'm grasping thin air or the bolster in my room.

I hug our baby Sugar to sleep, you may not believe it but I do love Sugar and Horlick very much. They will always be safe under my care.

If you even bother to read/update/write/see this blog anymore. Pls let me know.. It will mean alot to me if you do.

-Geoffrey signing off with peace